I was recently contacted by a non-profit regarding a handwritten will that named the organization as a beneficiary of the decedent's estate.  The will is being contested by family members and is now part of litigation that could become very costly.

I have seen this issue on more than one occasion. A persons intent to leave a charitable bequest is thwarted by poor planning, ambiguous documents and family members that feel they are not receiving their fair share of the estate. 

How can you assure your estate is distributed as you intended?

• Engage the assistance of an experienced Estate Planning attorney to prepare your Trust &/or Will.  
• Be specific regarding the non-profits you name as beneficiaries.  Include the name, tax ID, address and phone number for each charity. 
• Have your documents notarized, and do not rely on handwritten documents to fulfill your charitable intent.

These steps will help assure your gifts to charity are realized and not held up by costly litigation that accumulates legal fees which diminish the value of the gift. 

916-225-3570   cj@cjwatterslaw.com    http://www.cjwatterslaw.com

While at a workshop I was impressed by this post from Leo Babauta that was shared and I wanted to be able to share the "Rules for Slowing Down"  with you.  

POST WRITTEN BY LEO BABAUTA.  FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER.

It’s an irony of our modern lives that while technology is continually invented that saves us time, we use that time to do more and more things, and so our lives are more fast-paced and hectic than ever.

Life moves at such a fast pace that it seems to pass us by before we can really enjoy it.
However, it doesn’t have to be this way. Let’s rebel against a hectic lifestyle and slow down to enjoy life.

A slower-paced life means making time to enjoy your mornings, instead of rushing off to work in a frenzy. It means taking time to enjoy whatever you’re doing, to appreciate the outdoors, to actually focus on whoever you’re talking to or spending time with — instead of always being connected to a Blackberry or iPhone or laptop, instead of always thinking about work tasks and emails. It means single-tasking rather than switching between a multitude of tasks and focusing on none of them.
Slowing down is a conscious choice, and not always an easy one, but it leads to a greater appreciation for life and a greater level of happiness.
Here’s how to do it.

1. Do less. It’s hard to slow down when you are trying to do a million things. Instead, make the conscious choice to do less. Focus on what’s really important, what really needs to be done, and let go of the rest. Put space between tasks and appointments, so you can move through your days at a more leisurely pace. Read more.

2. Be present. It’s not enough to just slow down — you need to actually be mindful of whatever you’re doing at the moment. That means, when you find yourself thinking about something you need to do, or something that’s already happened, or something that might happen … gently bring yourself back to the present moment. Focus on what’s going on right now. On your actions, on your environment, on others around you. This takes practice but is essential.

3. Disconnect. Don’t always be connected. If you carry around an iPhone or Blackberry or other mobile device, shut it off. Better yet, learn to leave it behind when possible. If you work on a computer most of the day, have times when you disconnect so you can focus on other things. Being connected all the time means we’re subject to interruptions, we’re constantly stressed about information coming in, we are at the mercy of the demands of others. It’s hard to slow down when you’re always checking new messages coming in.

4. Focus on people. Too often we spend time with friends and family, or meet with colleagues, and we’re not really there with them. We talk to them but are distracted by devices. We are there, but our minds are on things we need to do. We listen, but we’re really thinking about ourselves and what we want to say. None of us are immune to this, but with conscious effort you can shut off the outside world and just be present with the person you’re with. This means that just a little time spent with your family and friends can go a long way — a much more effective use of your time, by the way. It means we really connect with people rather than just meeting with them.

5. Appreciate nature. Many of us are shut in our homes and offices and cars and trains most of the time, and rarely do we get the chance to go outside. And often even when people are outside, they’re talking on their cell phones. Instead, take the time to go outside and really observe nature, take a deep breath of fresh air, enjoy the serenity of water and greenery. Exercise outdoors when you can, or find other outdoor activities to enjoy such as nature walks, hiking, swimming, etc. Feel the sensations of water and wind and earth against your skin. Try to do this daily — by yourself or with loved ones.

6. Eat slower. Instead of cramming food down our throats as quickly as possible — leading to overeating and a lack of enjoyment of our food — learn to eat slowly. Be mindful of each bite. Appreciate the flavors and textures. Eating slowly has the double benefit of making you fuller on less food and making the food taste better. I suggest learning to eat more real food as well, with some great spices (instead of fat and salt and sugar and frying for flavor).

7. Drive slower. Speedy driving is a pretty prevalent habit in our fast-paced world, but it’s also responsible for a lot of traffic accidents, stress, and wasted fuel. Instead, make it a habit to slow down when you drive. Appreciate your surroundings. Make it a peaceful time to contemplate your life, and the things you’re passing. Driving will be more enjoyable, and much safer. You’ll use less fuel too.

8. Find pleasure in anything. This is related to being present, but taking it a step farther. Whatever you’re doing, be fully present … and also appreciate every aspect of it, and find the enjoyable aspects. For example, when washing dishes, instead of rushing through it as a boring chore to be finished quickly, really feel the sensations of the water, the suds, the dishes. It can really be an enjoyable task if you learn to see it that way. The same applies to other chores — washing the car, sweeping, dusting, laundry — and anything you do, actually. Life can be so much more enjoyable if you learn this simple habit.

9. Single-task. The opposite of multi-tasking. Focus on one thing at a time. When you feel the urge to switch to other tasks, pause, breathe, and pull yourself back. Read more.

10. Breathe. When you find yourself speeding up and stressing out, pause, and take a deep breath. Take a couple more. Really feel the air coming into your body, and feel the stress going out. By fully focusing on each breath, you bring yourself back to the present, and slow yourself down. It’s also nice to take a deep breath or two — do it now and see what I mean. :)

​916-225-3570   cj@cjwatterslaw.com    http://www.cjwatterslaw.com

According to Bridges (1998) The major mission of caregiving is to promote independence by maintaining the person with dementia, or other illness, in his/her most functional state – physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually.

When taking care of others, the gift of our attention is valuable, virtuous, and effective.  It is also very difficult.  Forgive yourself for becoming annoyed, tired, lonely, frustrated, or any of the other emotions that may arise.  
​
The need for respite – No one can maintain the constant keenness and intensity of mental attention or the constant level of physical assistance that is required in caring for a person with dementia or other illnesses.  Times of respite are essential to avoiding Compassion Fatigue. 
 
A Caregiver's Bill of Rights
By Jo Horne

I have the right:

• To take care of myself. This is not an act of selfishness. It will give me the capability of taking better care of my loved one.
• To seek help from others even though my loved ones may object. I recognize the limits of my own endurance and strength.
• To maintain facets of my own life that do not include the person I care for, just as I would if he or she were healthy. I know that I do everything that I reasonably can for this person, and I have the right to do some things just for myself.
• To get angry, be depressed, and express other difficult feelings occasionally.
• To reject any attempts by my loved one (either conscious or unconscious) to manipulate me through guilt, and/or depression.
• To receive consideration, affection, forgiveness, and acceptance for what I do, from my loved ones, for as long as I offer these qualities in return.
• To take pride in what I am accomplishing and to applaud the courage it has sometimes taken to meet the needs of my loved one.
• To protect my individuality and my right to make a life for myself that will sustain me in the time when my loved one no longer need my full-time help.
• To expect and demand that as new strides are made in finding resources to aid physically and mentally impaired persons in our country, similar strides will be made towards aiding and supporting caregivers.

Life is not what it's supposed to be. It's what it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.
Virginia Satir

           916-225-3570   cj@cjwatterslaw.com    http://www.cjwatterslaw.com

As an Estate Planning Lawyer I am in contact with people who have lost a loved one and I encourage my clients to plan ahead as much as possible. 

One of the greatest gifts my mother gave us was to plan ahead for her end-of-life arrangements.  When I meet with people regarding their estate plan I recommend they consider pre-planning their end-of –life arrangements as well.  


The information below is from the Heritage Oaks Memorial Chapel.  For more information visit their website at HeritageOakseMemorialChapel.com

5 Steps Concerning Your End-of-Life Planning

Do realize that when you make decisions in advance regarding your end-of-life arrangements, you are telling your family that you care about them.  Making arrangements for a loved one after they have passed away is stressful!  You can remove this stress for them by taking care of your arrangements in advance. You will also have peace of mind knowing that everything is in order and you have your wishes in writing.

Here are some steps that will guide you in this process:

·        Decide What You Want.  What do you to have happen once you pass away?  Many people are concerned about the cost.  If money was not an issue, what would you like to see happen? Many people who come to Heritage Oaks are surprised at how little it will cost to do what they want. We can assist you with putting a plan into place so the money will be set aside in advance to cover the cost of your wishes.

 

·         Keep in mind that services are for the living, not the deceased.  The customary visitation, funeral or memorial celebration of life are what many family members need to bring closure after their loved one dies.  Showing you care includes providing them with a formal opportunity to say goodbye and honor you together with your family and friends.  It is normal for people to grieve the loss of a loved one, and this is an important first step in that grieving process.

 

·         Decide where your final resting place will be. Local communities in Sacramento and Placer Counties have municipal cemeteries that provide a lower rate on burial plots and niches to their residents.  These cemeteries are very well maintained and the cost is 40% to 60% less than commercial cemeteries.  Plus, if you are a veteran of the U.S. Armed Forces with an honorable discharge, you’ll appreciate knowing that you are entitled to a free burial plot or cremation niche at Sacramento Valley National Cemetery in Dixon, CA. We will assist your family with making the arrangements at the National Cemetery at no charge to them.

 

·        Don’t procrastinate!  Putting things off does not bring peace of mind. Once this is done, you can relax!  A few minutes now will save your loved ones a lot of unnecessary pain.

 

·        Write down your plan. 

  We can help you get started by providing you with a complimentary Personal Memorial Planner that will guide you through organizing the important information your family will need.  We will also provide Estate Planning Tools including an Advanced Directive.

 We encourage you to request our free “Personal Memorial Planner” which will not only help answer your questions, but also guide through the planning process. Please just call us to request your planner, if you have any other questions, or if you would like to set an appointment.

Call 916-791-CARE (2273) or 800-316-1987 or email,

RonHarder@HeritageOaksMC.com JimBeeding@HeritageOaksMC.com Call, or visit, Heritage Oaks Memorial Chapel, a veteran, family-owned and operated, full service funeral home & beautiful chapel serving the areas of Rocklin, Roseville, Citrus Heights, Antelope, Fair Oaks, Carmichael, Folsom, Sacramento, Elk Grove, West Sacramento, Davis, Granite Bay, Loomis, Auburn, and Lincoln.

916-225-3570   cj@cjwatterslaw.com    http://www.cjwatterslaw.com

When you truly listen to someone you can help them heal past their dark emotions.

Without a listener, the healing process is aborted.

Human beings, like plants that bend toward the sunlight,

bend toward others in an innate healing tropism.

There are times when being truly listened to

is more critical than being fed.

Listening well to another’s pain

is a primary form of nurturance,

capable of healing even the most devastating

of human afflictions…

~ Miriam Greenspan

During meetings with clients to discuss estate planning I am often asked:

“Is a POLST different from an Advanced Health Care Directive?”

The answer is YES - An Advanced Health Care Directive allows you to choose the person you want to speak for you, and provides a general guide to what you want. 

A POLST form is different because:

POLST is for the seriously ill;

POLST tells your exact wishes about certain medical treatments;

POLST is a signed medical order that your health care team can act upon, and

POLST goes with you to your home, your hospital, or your long-term care facility.  It goes where you go.

Everyone should have an Advanced Health Care Directive.  Seriously ill people should have a POLST and an Advanced Health Care Directive.

Doctors say that any seriously ill patient should have a POLST form.  Filling out a POLST is completely up to you.  It’s your choice.

The POLST form must be signed by your doctor and you or the person you pick to make decisions for you.  The information on the form can be changed by you and your doctor.

POLST makes your treatment wishes known to doctors and other members of your health care team.  Too often, patients near the end of their lives may get treatment they do not want.  POLST gives you a way to tell doctors, nurses, and other health care team members what types of treatment you want.

POLST makes your wishes clear to your family members and caregivers.  Sometimes, family members have their own ideas about what types of treatment their loved ones would want. POLST makes sure your family members and caregivers know exactly what treatments you do and do not want.  No one has to guess or argue.

The POLST form lists some of the medical treatments you can choose to have or not have, including:

• Resuscitation
• DNR
• Comfort Measures
• Antibiotics
• Intravenous (IV) Fluids
• Artificial Nutrition/Tube Feeding

It is important for you to understand what each of these options means and to talk with your doctor before making any decision.  You can then make an informed choice regarding the treatment options you want and don’t want. 


If you want to find out more about POLST, give me a call for a consultation.

​916-225-3570   cj@cjwatterslaw.com    http://www.cjwatterslaw.com