According to Bridges (1998) The major mission of caregiving is to promote independence by maintaining the person with dementia, or other illness, in his/her most functional state – physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually.

When taking care of others, the gift of our attention is valuable, virtuous, and effective.  It is also very difficult.  Forgive yourself for becoming annoyed, tired, lonely, frustrated, or any of the other emotions that may arise.  
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The need for respite – No one can maintain the constant keenness and intensity of mental attention or the constant level of physical assistance that is required in caring for a person with dementia or other illnesses.  Times of respite are essential to avoiding Compassion Fatigue. 
 
A Caregiver's Bill of Rights
By Jo Horne

I have the right:

• To take care of myself. This is not an act of selfishness. It will give me the capability of taking better care of my loved one.
• To seek help from others even though my loved ones may object. I recognize the limits of my own endurance and strength.
• To maintain facets of my own life that do not include the person I care for, just as I would if he or she were healthy. I know that I do everything that I reasonably can for this person, and I have the right to do some things just for myself.
• To get angry, be depressed, and express other difficult feelings occasionally.
• To reject any attempts by my loved one (either conscious or unconscious) to manipulate me through guilt, and/or depression.
• To receive consideration, affection, forgiveness, and acceptance for what I do, from my loved ones, for as long as I offer these qualities in return.
• To take pride in what I am accomplishing and to applaud the courage it has sometimes taken to meet the needs of my loved one.
• To protect my individuality and my right to make a life for myself that will sustain me in the time when my loved one no longer need my full-time help.
• To expect and demand that as new strides are made in finding resources to aid physically and mentally impaired persons in our country, similar strides will be made towards aiding and supporting caregivers.

Life is not what it's supposed to be. It's what it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.
Virginia Satir

           916-225-3570   cj@cjwatterslaw.com    http://www.cjwatterslaw.com

When you truly listen to someone you can help them heal past their dark emotions.

Without a listener, the healing process is aborted.

Human beings, like plants that bend toward the sunlight,

bend toward others in an innate healing tropism.

There are times when being truly listened to

is more critical than being fed.

Listening well to another’s pain

is a primary form of nurturance,

capable of healing even the most devastating

of human afflictions…

~ Miriam Greenspan

The Alzheimer’s Association welcomes and is supportive of all persons regardless of age, race, gender identity, class, ethnicity, sexual orientation, language, physical ability or religion.

Many lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people have experienced difficult and alienating relationships with family, friends, employers and service providers. Some have felt the need to move away from their families of origin, to stay in the closet or to distance themselves from discriminating and prejudiced situations. Yet, LGBT people are more likely to become caregivers for a partner, friend or biological family member. While caregiving can be rewarding, it can also be isolating.

It is important for you and your loved one to have legal and financial documents in place to establish your wishes for care as the disease progresses. Legal plans are especially vital for the person with dementia. Medical and financial powers of attorney and hospital visitation authorizations are best filed in advance while the person is still able to make decisions.  Complete your own documents to ensure your loved one will be cared for should something happen to you. Contact the Alzheimer’s Association for legal referrals.

The Alzheimer’s Association has support available for everyone 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at:   1-800-272-3900 or www.alz.org